Movie Review: The Legend of Hercules (2014)
Written by Anthony Sargon
Hercules is one of Greek mythology’s most recognizable figures. His story has been told time and time again, and we’ll even be seeing him again in 2014 in Brett Ratner’s “Hercules” starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. But we’re here to talk about “The Legend of Hercules”, so here goes: it’s terrible, and its done something I never thought possible; it has me excited about a Brett Ratner movie.
When Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) becomes sick of her husband’s lust for war and power, she prays to the gods for help, and they respond by impregnating her with Zeus’ child, aka Hercules (Kellan Lutz). Her husband, King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), suspects that the child isn’t his, and when he plots to have Hercules killed in battle many years later, the demigod is forced to fight his way out of slavery to return to his kingdom, slay the king, and stop his true love from marrying his whiny older brother.
I don’t even know where to begin. The acting is god-awful (pun intended), and I seriously don’t know what the producers were smoking when they hired Kellan Lutz to play the titular hero. My furniture has more range than that guy, but believe me, everyone else is as bad as he is. There is only one good performance, and it comes courtesy of “Spartacus” star Liam McIntyre, who plays army commander Sotiris. He should have been Hercules in my opinion, and he brings some gravitas to this otherwise cheap production.
Everything sucks; the effects are laughable, the dialogue is a joke, and there are so many inconsistencies that it actually becomes funny. For example, there’s a scene where Hercules gets shot by two arrows, but when the camera goes back to Hercules, there are no arrows or even arrow wounds in sight. Another scene involves Sotiris getting stabbed in the arm, but one second later, there’s no wound to be seen. This happens quite a lot. The only actions sequences that work are the ones that have been blatantly ripped off from the “God of War” games, and if you’ve ever played them, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
The Verdict:
With so many good films out right now, it would be a real shame to waste any time or money on such a half-hearted effort. You’re better off watching an episode of “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” starring Kevin Sorbo.
Numerical Score: 3/10
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